I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Even my vagina gasped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize