Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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