So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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