I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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