Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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