it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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