roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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