You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
