i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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