oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
