also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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