Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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