Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
