Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Capitaan dildo arrescate!

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(248): View more from Michigan

So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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(907): View more from Alaska

She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me

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(613): View more from Ontario

I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.

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