she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
