he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I die, sorry about rent.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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