If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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