I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize