All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
