it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
