i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
