Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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