I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
