About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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