so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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