Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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