We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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