I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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