I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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