Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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