dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
