i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize