The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We don't watch enough power rangers
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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