I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
