The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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