Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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