i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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