So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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