Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize