I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
