Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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