my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I know her cup size but not her name....
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