My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
