My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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