did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
