What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
