i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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