all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
