Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
