Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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