Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
