u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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