You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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