You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
thus making me awesome and them whores
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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