When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
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Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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