I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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