We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
