His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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