Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
