I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
